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Sunday, December 9th, 2012
3:12 am
I have so much positive.
It can be hard for me to focus on that though.
There are some negatives in life that seem to just continue to resurface.
I'm sure that the way to deal with this is to let my self let these things go.
One thing I have never had a talent for is letting things go.
The holidays when I was a kid up to probably the age of 10 were sparkly shiney memories.
After that they became less shiny, colored with disappointment, and shame for feeling disappointment. My parents did so much for us that I hate to even insinuate that they did a sub par job. They didn't. It's just human nature to grow to a phase where things disappoint you. You have just grown to such a point where you have seen too many advertisements or something.
Clearly I am depressed. What other reason is there to be writing in this old dead journal. Only when horrible things are going on I can't cope with do I write here. Nothing really horrible right now except my mood.
The stress of trying to work on national board stuff doesn't help. Actually it seems to have kicked off this particular depression.

Sleep it off I guess.

(don't wanna be a playa no more)

Monday, August 6th, 2012
7:34 am
It's the first day back to work after a long, fun, exciting, and taxing summer... and my first interaction of the day was negative. So lame. I'm having a really hard time having a positive attitude to begin with, and I don't really need help on my road to negativity.

(don't wanna be a playa no more)

Sunday, March 11th, 2012
10:17 pm

Haunted a little bit lately. Have I made the right choices? Who knows. On some level I have to forgive myself. "choose life." in the grand scheme my problems are not so large. I hope above all hope that at least I'm in a path to happiness. I hope others in and out of my life are, too. One month almost.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

(don't wanna be a playa no more)

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